characters: akashi-centric (+gom)
series: these were our glory days
notes: ummm ok so. chronologically this takes place before Bubble Economy so yeah. excitement. also, wow. these character studies are fun to write.
Akashi Seijuurou doesn’t know when it happened. He likes to pretend he does, pretend he hasn’t lost control. There are two things in his life that he has left, now—power and basketball, and those seem to go hand in hand. And slowly, ever so slowly they are both slipping out from under him, and if he weren’t Akashi Seijuurou he’d say he’s scared.
But that’s the thing, that’s who he is—he is Akashi Seijuurou and anything less than perfect is wrong. This is a simple fact for him, for anyone that bore the family name of Akashi. So he lets his more aggressive personality take over, builds concrete walls around his heart and rules his team with an iron fist.
His team does not notice, and if they do they are too scared to take note. It’s only Tetsuya that raises any complaints—Shintarou and Daiki and Ryouta and Atsushi do not care, so long as they win. Satsuki is a different story, but she doesn’t complain, either. She sits quietly and he notices her heart harden. To Akashi Seijuurou, it doesn’t matter, so long as they win.
He does not hate Atsushi. He does not hate Atsushi for driving him into a corner and letting his fear take over, but he is not grateful, either. Atsushi simply becomes one of his pawns to further himself in life, to provide a challenge. He thinks that perhaps once they win their next national championship—and they will, because he is absolute—he should issue another challenge. It wouldn’t be fun if the Generation of Miracles stuck together, after all.
Regardless of what other people might say, he does care for his team; he believes in them, and that is more than enough. He trusts them and their abilities, and though the feeling is buried very deep within him, sometimes the bonds he has with his teammates disgusts him.
Once they are no longer his teammates—and they will not be, not if he has anything to say about it (and he always does)—they are his rivals. Though he can continue to hate them, there is a difference between hate and trust, and sometimes he thinks that so long as they have his trust, his hatred will lose meaning. If they have his trust, it is easier to defeat him, and because his heart is steeled he will not say it, but he fears defeat, and he feels it hanging over his head. He knows, somewhere, that eventually his beloved Generation of Miracles will strangle him alive, that slowly they will devour him, a never-ending ouroboros.
Akashi Seijuurou will not admit it, but he thinks he is falling apart.
But for now, he has a championship to prepare for.