cyndaquils: (Default)
oh, glory days ([personal profile] cyndaquils) wrote2013-10-18 11:57 am

mikasa/annie drabble dump

cagamosis: an unhappy marriage
au where annie is not the female titan and joins the scouting legion, but eren dies.

"let’s get married," she remembers slurring, drunk and lost and hurting. she remembers the last time she felt like this, she remembers swearing to never feel like this again.

she knows she asked because she does not want to be alone, does not want to let her humanity slip far beyond her reach. and annie—annie was there, cold and aloof annie and her ever-present snark.

"you have to promise," she’d said. "you have to promise me you won’t leave."

she knows annie knows what she means when she says leave, that’s the only reason she can come up with when she thinks back as to why the blonde even agreed.

"okay," annie had said, curt and sharp. and for a few months, it had worked.

but now is a different time, a time with too many open wounds and bitter memories. they are still practically children, now, with their sixteen years behind them. sixteen years and terrors that leave marks in their footprints, ghosts that linger between them still sink their teeth into their hearts. but annie does not leave, and mikasa does not ask her to. the misery of living under the titans is something that is heavier then any ghosts could be.

("i am not the one you want," annie whispers harshly into the flesh of mikasa’s shoulder. mikasa knows this, because the one she wants has been dead for months. his body was left in the outer lands, left to the titans. she cannot bring herself to forget.)

mikasa does not forget, but she does not look back, either.

wanweird: an unhappy fate
these days i don’t do much — annie/mikasa, minor mikasa/eren

she thinks that maybe this is her punishment. she has a lot of time to think about what she’s done, these days.

she’s safely curled up in her crystal, eyes shut to the world. she lets herself replay the moment over and over, mikasa’s words and her hard stare.

annie, fall,” the black haired girl had said, pushing her off the wall with a single kick.

she remembers the shock she felt, remembers awkward fumbling in the cover of night during their trainee days, remembers the subtle pang of confusion she felt when she watched mikasa embrace eren all those times, remembers herself choosing to let armin live.

(she doesn’t really know what she was thinking, then, but perhaps she did not want to let mikasa live in this world alone—without eren, without armin)

she does not know when the scouting legion will discover how to break her out and make her talk. she does not know whether they ever will, if she will stay in her prison forever, but she knows she made her choice.

she does not know if it is the right one. 

anagapesis: the feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did
these walls came crashing down — annie/mikasa

she feels it happen, because it hits her all at once.

she’s seen numerous of her comrades die, she’s seen the horror the the titans, she’s seen her parents die in front of her. she’s hardened her heart, not because she wants to but because she has to. she does not admit it, but she clings to her promise to carla; keeping eren alive tethers her to this world.

eren
 tethers her to this world. eren and armin—without them, she’d be alone again.

she used to think that annie could be included in that group, too.

cold and aloof annie, who never once showed much of a passion for anything except fighting. there were cold nights with careful touches and hushed whispers, always careful, but even then, annie rarely showed any emotion.

still, mikasa thinks whatever she held for annie could be called affection. (she can’t call it anything else, now. not love, never love.) but when she watched annie rip eren out of his titan body, watched her run off with him into the forest, she thought she was drowning. she can’t (she won’t) forgive anyone who tries to take eren away, not after all she owes him. she remembers how she felt when armin gave his hypothesis, the blunt force of it all coming down upon her.

she remembers that the feeling was fleeting, how she forced herself to steel her heart up again before they went to stohess. 

annie, fall,” she says in her cool voice, kicking the girl off the wall.

she doesn’t mind that it didn’t make her feel anything at all.
 

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